I've been quiet about the
college admissions scandal, but it's time to speak my mind. A lot has already been said... all of the emotions and reactions you would expect, and no doubt yourself feel. How could they? Right? It's unconscionable to wield your wealth to give your child an unfair advantage when so many kids work so hard to get into a good school without the overflowing resources their uber-rich peers take for granted.
Like mothers everywhere, I, too, do all I can to give my daughter the very best. But here's the difference between wanting the very best for your child, and losing your sense of ethics and integrity. The latter kills the former.
Two different statements by two of the most visible people involved reveal the chasm that has been ripping our society asunder, lie by lie, fraud by fraud, entitled step by entitled step.
Exhibit A: A source spoke to
E!News about actress Lori Loughlin's response to the charges against her:
"While initially facing just one indictment, Loughlin and [her husband] Giannulli were under the impression that this might not be as serious as the government wanted it to seem. 'She has been in complete denial and thought maybe she could skate by,' a source told E! News. 'She refused to accept any jail time and thought the DA was bluffing. She was adamant she wouldn't do any jail time.'"
Exhibit B: Felicity Huffman, another well-known actress involved in the scheme,
said something very different: "I am ashamed of the pain I have caused my daughter, my family, my friends, my colleagues and the educational community ... I want to apologize to them and, especially, I want to apologize to the students who work hard every day to get into college, and to their parents who make tremendous sacrifices to support their children and do so honestly."
The cynical take on both these statements is that one actress is unabashed about her entitlement, while the other, having been caught, is walking the path of apology, but at the end of the day they're two faces of the same coin. The more compassionate interpretation is that one actress still has a lot to learn in life, and the other has realized her error and is truly sorry for it. On a side note, it's interesting to note that Lori is accused of paying $500,000 while Felicity just $15,0000.
I went through the expected series of reactions when the news broke back in March: outrage, anger, disgust. I read piles of articles, trying to piece together the enormous puzzle that was orders of magnitude larger for the authorities handling the case. It read not like a movie... no, more like a soap opera.
But at the end of it, having read enough, I was struck with a profound sadness. I met celebrities like Lori and Felicity when I worked in Hollywood. I've walked the red carpet. I've had a very small taste of the world these people live in—in fancy restaurant terms, probably half a teaspoon of caviar's worth. And I've seen how easily so many fall prey to the trappings of fame, money, and power. It takes a strong person to retain their moral character and bearing when you become used to a certain level of income and attention. You begin to believe it's perfectly natural, and that you should never have less, nevermind how many other people have much less than you. That is entitlement.
It's one thing to feel entitled. It's another to act entitled. But it is quite another to resort to illegal means to pursue that entitlement... and worst of all, to do it in the name of your children. Because it isn't, in fact, about your children and their success. It's about you.
As much as it hurts me, as a mother, to see these mothers charged and facing prison time, bringing these cases to light is the right thing and it has to be done. Otherwise we will become more and more entangled in this toxic web that's supposed to be a functioning society.
~ Birgitte
